REACTION VS. RESPONSE
When confronted with an uncomfortable situation, you have two choices. You can be offended or you can get motivated. In other words, your options are: Reaction or response. When we react it is usually out of anger, embarrassment, sorrow, or fear. Response is our better decision. When you the time to fully consider the situation you can better respond without the emotionality.
If you make a mistake and someone is upset or when you feel defensive, offended or have a negative reaction, you might often think, “My way is right and the other person is wrong”. We can create reasons why we made the mistake and defend ourselves. Other reactionary behaviors might be feeling that the person did something to you intentionally when they may not have, taking things personally, dreaming of or seeking revenge, talking about another person negatively, talking in circles with no resolution or complaining.
It is best to pause for a moment and consider that this might not be about you. The other person may have made a mistake and needs understanding and compassion. Taking things personally is never a good idea. Being offended is the source of many arguments and if we just change our thinking and KEEP THINGS GENERAL rather than personal, we can begin to see things in a different way. We will spend less time being upset and deal with far less anxiety.
It is best to stay calm if someone else is upset or offended. No one ever gets what they want from a yelling match, a crying jag or a temper tantrum. The issue could just be a misunderstanding, miscommunication or a genuine mistake. The less we take things on a personal level and feel offended by others actions, the happier we will be. Resentment is an unhealthy feeling and should be resolved whenever possible.
Reaction vs. Response. Bob Proctor describes it as this: “When we react, we lose control. When we respond, we are in control”. We all desire more control over our circumstances and the first step towards that is control over our own emotions and reactions. That initial reaction can be deceiving so allowing a pause and some consideration is always a good idea.
Think about the other person and how they might be feeling. Perhaps they are struggling with something else. If you don’t react to another person’s mood or mean spiritedness or even their carelessness, you can turn a situation around. Instead of reacting and retaliating, think how you could resolve things peacefully by being of service and acting in kindness.
Wayne Dyer states “Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing”.
Many people spend all of their time looking for reasons to be offended. We need to keep an open mind which means not creating attachments to our expectations. Attachment creates resentment. We should adhere to this philosophy also stated by the great Wayne Dyer. “There are no justified resentments” You might think that you are justified but that resentment will only destroy you and no-one else. If you carry or harbor resentments and animosity it will most certainly harm you but there’s no guarantee your revenge will be exacted without completely annihilating your own life.
Sometimes doing nothing at all is the best choice. Just wait and the know may untie itself. Often we are in such a hurry to resolve things that we don't give another person a grace period to let things settle. Give God or the Universe (or whatever you see as a higher power) time to work things out for you. If you leave things alone for a bit, they generally get better, not worse.
We must all take the blame out of our lives. If you abstain from thoughts of harm towards others, people will begin to respond differently towards you. There is nothing of value in resentment and offense. Work diligently to rid yourself of these feelings. Take responsibility for your results and respond with less reaction. You will create less resentment this way and in turn a happier life.